NOTE: This was written a while back before I left the city. For whatever reason I never actually published it. Perhaps it was still too raw. Now here I am in Baton Rouge with friends, a job, health care (yeah!), and less drama in my life. Yep, I miss New York but one plays the cards one draws. I’m satisfied.
….I leave Brooklyn and New York in some five days or so. It has been such a fast 15 months, filled with happiness, richness, and sadness. It has not been what I expected, harder and easier than I thought it would be.
Hard, perhaps impossible, to find a decent living though I believe I had something to give to the city. For whatever the reasons, it was not to be. I have my suspicions, but I try not to dwell on them. I try to convince myself that it was not a failure on my part. I try to be forgiving and sometimes I am.
Still I will remember this time with more joy than sadness, with as much satisfaction as disappointment. And I hope to be back, for this place will always be a part of me. It is the greatest city and home I can imagine. I just finished Alexandre Dumas’ The Count of Monte Cristo, a book I first read at perhaps 13. At the end the Count tells his chosen son, Maximilien Morrel, the following:
There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, Morrel, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of living.
And so I appreciate this time I have had. I appreciate Karen’s kindness, beauty, love, and generosity, and I will miss her deeply. I treasure the unquestioning attachment that the little Kitty at my side shows me and hope that she will be happy on our approaching journey.
And I appreciate all that the city has shown me; the excitement, the energy, the charm, and the grit. I marvel at the art, the music, the architecture, and the skyline I have been able to experience on a daily basis. I will miss the museums, the subway, and my runs in Prospect Park. I will miss the people who I have met here, and I thank those who helped me along the way.
Here are some images of people and things that have made this such a great adventure.